Thursday, July 1, 2010

Islamic Ways

Please read the following and try to make a habit as an exercise for yourgood MENTAL as well for physical health and enjoy a happily life ofcourse with in boundaries.
1.Make her feel secure; (sakina- tranquility) QUIT BEING AGGRESSIVE
2. When you go home say 'Assalmualikum.(Greetings) It kicks the shaitaanout of home!
3. Prophet (saw) described the wife as a fragile vessel and said to takecare of this vessel thats fragile. Remember that there is goodness in thisvessel so treat it gently.
4. When you advise her, do so in privacy, in a peaceful environment. NOT INPUBLIC.
5. Be generous to your wife- it keeps her LOVED
6. Move and let her have your seat. It will warm her heart.
7. AVIOD ANGER. HOW? Keep your wudu at all times. Prophet saw said if yourangry, sit down, if youre sitting, then lie down. Follow the sunnah!
8. Look good and smell great for your wife. IT keeps the LOVE!
9. Dont be rigid. It will break you. Prophet Mohammed - Sallal lahu AleihiWasallam (SAW means “May the blessings and the peace of Allah be upon him(Muhammad).) said 'I am the best amongst you and I am the best to my wife'.Being rigid and harsh will not bring you close to Allah and neither does itmake you more of a man.
10. Listen to your wife-BE a GOOD LISTENER
11. YES to flattering NO to arguing. Arguing is like poison in a marriage.Al zawai said 'When Allah (swt) wants evil for people He will leave them toargue amongst them'.
12. Prophet (saw) said to call your wives with the best name, any name sheloves to hear.
13. Give her surprise. I.e. if she loves watermelon, bring her out of theblue, will grow love in her heart.
14. Preserve your tongue! Prophet (saw) said the tongue will throw peoplein the hell fire so watch what you say and how you say it!
15. We all have shortcoming. Accept her shortcoming and Allah (swt) willput barakh in your marriage.
16. TELL her you appreciate her. SHOW her you appreciate her.
17. Encourage her to keep good relation with her relative, her mum and dadetc.
18. Speak with her with a topic of HER interest.
19. In front of her relative praise her. Say that she is wonderful/ goodperson in front of her family.
20. Give each other gifts. You will love each other more. Prophet (saw)said gifts increases love.
21. Get rid of routine once in while, surprise her with something, it willget rid of the rust and polish it!
22.We have a demand from Allah (swt) that we have to think good of people.Think good of your spouse.
23. Ignore some of her mistakes- pretend you did not see/hear some of hersmall mistakes. It was a practice of Ali (RA). Its like putting a hole inyour memory. Dont save it in your memory!
24. Increase your patience, especially when she is pregnant or when she ison her monthly period.
25. Expect and respect her jealousy.
26. Be humble and respect that she is looking after your children, she ismuch more than you, she is the leader at home, her strength is yourstrength, and her success is your successes.
27. Don't put your friends above your wife.
28. Help your wife at home. Prophet (saw) used to help his wives at homeand he was the best of creation. He used to sew his own clothes.
29. Help her respect your parents, you cant force her , but she can behelped to gradually love them.
30. Show your wife she is the ideal wife.
31. Remember your wife in your Duaas. It will increase the love and protectit.
32. Leave the past. It gives nothing but pain. Its not your business. Thepast is for Allah.
33. Don't try to show her that you are doing her a favour by doingsomething, like buying food for the house, because in reality we are thecourier of sustenance, not the providers, as Allah is the provider. Itsalso a way of being humble and thankful to Allah (swt)
34. Shaitaan is your enemy, not your wife. Sometime when husband and wifeare talking a fight breaks out, then shaitaan is present there as a thirdperson It is not enough to hate the shaitaan, but you have to see him asan enemy as Allah has commanded. Shaitaan loves divorce. HE comes everydayand sits office and asks the devils what they have done, And one devilwill say i have made a man divorce his wife, and he is crowned as the onewho has done the best job.
35. Take the food and put it in her mouth. Prophet (saw) taught us this.Its a blessing. The food doesnt just go to her stomach, but straight to herheart. It increases the love and mercy between you.
36. Protect your wife from the evil of the shaitaan and mankind. She islike a precious pearl that needs protecting from the envy of human devilsand shitaan.
37. Show her your smile. Smile at your wife. ITS A CHARITY.
38. Small problems/ challenges can become a big problem. If there is smallthing she didn't like and you keep repeating them anyway, it will create awall between you. Dont ignore them as it can become big.
39. Avoid being harsh hearted and moody. Allah said of prophet (saw) 'ifyou were harsh hearted they (the companions) would have left you.' Itconfirms prophet (saw) was not harsh hearted, so GET RID OF IT.
40. Respect her thinking. Its strength for you. Show you like her thoughtsand suggestions.
41. Help her to achieve her potential and help her and find success withinas her success is your success.
42. Respect the intimate relationship and its boundaries. Prophet (saw)said she is like a fragile vessel and she needs be treated tenderly. Attime she may not be feeling well; you must respect and appreciate thatfeeling.
43. Help her to take care of the children. Some men think it makes themappear less of a man but in fact it makes you appear a bigger man and morerespected, especially in the sight of Allah (swt).
44. Use the gifts of the tongue and sweet talk her. Tell her she looksgreat, be an artist. Pick and choose gifts of the tongue.
45. Sit down and eat with her and share food with her.
46. Let her know you are traveling. Don't tell her out of the blue as itsagainst Islam. Tell her the date/ time of when you are coming back also.
47. Don't leave the house as soon as trouble brews.
48. The house has privacy and secrecy. Once you take this privacy andsecrecy to your friends and family you are in danger of putting a serioushole in your marriage. This secrecy stays home. Islam is against leavingthem out like a garage sale for anyone to come and pick and choose.
49. Encourage each other for ibadah, i.e. plan a trip for hajj or umrahtogether. It increases/strengthens the love when you help each otherperform a good deeds together i.e, do tahajuud together,or go to a darstogether etc.
50. Know her rights, not only written in paper but engraved in your heartand engraved in your conscious.
51. Allah( swt) said 'live with your wives in kindness.' Treat them withkindness and goodness. It means in happy times and in sadness treat herwith goodness and fairness.
52. Prophet (saw) showed that at the time of intimacy. Dont jump on yourwife like an animal!
53. When you have a dispute with your wife dont tell everyone. Its likeleaving your wounds open to germs so be careful who you share your problemsand disputes with.
54. Show your wife you really care for her health. Good health of yourwife is your good health. To care for her health shows her that you loveher.
55. Dont think you are always right. No matter how good you are you haveshortcomings. You are not perfect as the only one who was perfect incharacter was prophet (saw). Get rid of this disease.
56. Share your problems, your happiness, and your sadness with her.
57. Have mercy on her weakness. Have mercy when she is weak or strong asshe is the fragile vessel. Prophet (saw) said that your wife is a trust inyour hand.
58. Remember you are her strength, someone to lean on in times of hardship.
59. Accept her as she is. Prophet (saw) said that women are created fromthe rib which is bent. If you try to straighten her you will break her(divorce). Prophet (saw) said that you may dislike one habit in her but youwill like another manner in her so accept her as she is.
60. Have good intention for your wife all the time, Allah monitors yourintention and your heart at all times. Allah (s.w.t) said Among His Signsis that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may findrepose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, inthat are indeed signs for a people who reflect.
May Allah fill our homes and heart with tranquility, love and Mercy.AMEEN

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